At Freedom Park summer 2010

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Still working it out

Well it is August already.  It is hot and humid and not much fun to be outside.  I hope you are somewhere cool.  AC would be best but in the shade with a breeze at least!

We had a Celebration of Life for my friend Mohawk last week.  It was bittersweet.  A cloudy and rainy start to the day kept a lot of folks from coming but as we all met at the Coop, where he worked, to ride together to take him to Freedom Park....the sun came out and the clouds disappeared.  It was as it should be for a ride to salute a fellow rider and very special person!!!  God smiled on that ride!

I don't know how to say it except that I expect it was the only Jodi could get through it....but she orchestrated everything.  I am sure she delegated many things but from the line-up of the procession to the proceedings of the day.....I could see her guidance, even though some others said the words, prepared the food and set up the tables and chairs.  I understand that.....she was saying good-bye to her husband and friend and she wanted it to be perfect.  It was!

It was the kind of event Mohawk would have approved of.  A ride, a few special words, good food and then a whole lot of good memories and hugs shared.  The families that he made came together with his, and their friends, to celebrate a life well lived.  I was happy for all of them!

The reality that he is gone is still eluding me - though I try to realize it.  He will not be coming back.  I can't hope for him like I can for you.....because he is dead and I know that.  It just doesn't feel real yet.  I know it will someday....just as I know someday I may have to face the reality that you will never come home again.  How do I do that?  Maybe it will all feel real in being lost sure fells real.....but Mohawk being gone is still abstract for me.

I guess I will just keep talking to you from time to time.  Maybe the reality will come through doing that.  It is so different knowing what has happened then not knowing.  Maybe the difference will allow me to accept his passing even though I still hold hope of seeing you again because I have no answers yet, where you are concerned.  I miss you......I will miss Mohawk very much too!

We don't lose friends - human or fur covered without hurting.  I do hurt......😢😩😖😥