At Freedom Park summer 2010

Friday, August 12, 2011

Okay - Acceptance isn't the end....

How can I accept that Starskey is gone when I can't stop thinking about him?  How can I stop looking for something that I loved so much?  How can I accept NO answer to what has happened?  Prayers for an answer just leave me with more feelings of hope.....God - Is that You telling me something ????  I need some clarity...........

I told you that Ike was his own man - and he is.....but almost everything he does reminds me of Starskey.  It must be the Lab in them or something......Maybe it is the age.  Ike is now 8 months old and Starskey was 11 months old when he went missing, after 9 months of stealing our hearts and teaching us a whole new way to love and be loved.

To explain how much Ike reminds me of Starskey would mean I would need to duplicate many of the experiences I have already written about having with Starskey.  I just read all my entries to this blog and they are all on target - for how much and why Starskey has come to mean so much to me, as well as some of the adventures we shared that are so similar to the ones I am now sharing with Ike.  These two boys belong together!!!

Ike had an extensive vet check this week.  He will have serious challenges in life that we will have to help him through.  For a fellow who is only 8 months old he already has a pretty severe case of hip displazia.  Xrays confirmed that.  You wouldn't know it to see him prance around the yard but his prancing has gotten shorter in duration and his naps have gotten longer.  He has a foam pad in the house and in his bed and some dog cushions in the outside kennel.  He uses them all.  He gets an asprin a day (in a small chunk of hot dog) and that helps him sleep comfortably at night.

His breed mix is still in question too.  The front half of him is all Lab but his back half is in question.  We thought maybe Dobe or Hound but our vet wonders if maybe there is some Dane in there - especially given his growth.  He has gone from a thin 30 lb. 4 1/2  month old to a 60 lb. 8 month old and he is still slim and almost twice as tall as he was.  Vet says he has more growing to do too.........hopefully just filling out.

Ike is a mighty big puppy!  None of that changes who he is!!!!  Like a toddler - I just have to move the things he can't have to a higher location.  His size should not be intimidating to Starskey - whose first and best non-family friend as an Akita called Dufus.  Ike is also submissive....or is that just well behaved?

My mind says to accept that Starskey is gone - but my heart will not let go and with no definite answer as to where he is and what has happened to him - I have to continue to hope that he is alive and will find his way back home!  Ike is as far as I can go forward without knowing......  I will care for Ike and love him and pray for the time when I do have an answer (or God guides me elsewhere).  That is when Ike will get his playmate - whether it is Starskey returning home or another dog in need of rescue and love.

There are those moments when Ike will awaken from his sleep - sit straight up, look at the door, sniff the air and bark.  I'll go to the door and look out and see nothing or a deer across the pond  and I will wonder if Starskey is near and Ike can tell.  If I don't see a deer or something (and there is no cat sitting at the top of the steps to tease him) I will go outside, sit in the swing and talk to Starskey.  I'll tell him that it is okay for him to come home and that Ike would love to have someone to play with.  I tell him how much I miss him and still love him.  I tell him any new news he should know and then I just sit and hope and pray for a while.  Then I come back in and give Ike a big hug.

I have stopped baiting.  The only dogs that ever came were dogs from area farms who already had homes.  Otherwise it was mainly raccoons or skunks that took advantage of the stinky cat food bait.  I could tell that by their tracks and the feces left behind.  I hope that means that you (Starskey) are not surviving in the wild but have found a home or were picked up. 

My greatest fear is that you got caught up in the rescue system and have already been adopted out......but therein also lies my greatest hope.  You have a chip so that rescues and vets can identify you and you are posted as "lost" on two chip sights.  Those rescue people have a network all of their own as well.  They let each other know when there is news or need of help and they check for chips.  If you were to get picked up - the shelter should check for a chip.  If you were to be adopted out (because you are so charming) then the new owners should take you to a vet who should also check you for an existing chip before installing a new one.

I need to say THANK YOU to all of the rescuers and shelters that have added me (and you) to their network of contacts.  I can't do much to repay them except to share the requests and postings they send to me - but they can do so much for us by helping keep your photo and description active so that some other rescuer or vet or just regular person see you and let's us know where you are! 

A huge Thank You too goes to Kathy for the tips on how to search for a dog in survival mode.  I so wish it had worked because then you would have been home by now.  If anyone else is baiting and waiting for a medium size black dog to come in to their might be Starskey.  Please contact me!!!!!

The only thing worse then not having a job that pays a living wage anymore (but still having bills to pay) is having a hole in your heart.  Ike is helping ease my pain but he is making is own path in to my heart, which means that Starskey's path remains untraveled and waiting for him to come back in to my life.

Please don't forget that Starskey is still out there somewhere and that I am still here missing him and running out of options for finding him on my own.  I do need your help!  Please share our story and his description with as many people as you can.  Maybe somebody has seen him somewhere!

Starskey - COME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!